A Labour party strategist last night acknowledged that his party was facing a hammering in Scotland - and claimed it was all because of TALKING.
"Gone are the days when people communicated in a more natural way," sighed the apparatchik, who didn't want to be named. "It used to be very simple - you'd receive Labour party literature, and you'd digest it silently. But suddenly people are, how can I put this...talking, and it's just no good for them."
Labour's deepest concern about the new-fangled medium of talking is that it is lowering party morale, due to the easy spread of crackpot conspiracy theories about Facebook being a secret SNP weapon. The anonymous strategist recounted with bemusement an encounter he recently had in his local Asda.
"He was a perfectly intelligent man - well, I hope he was, he's been Shadow Foreign Secretary for a few years - and yet he had absolutely convinced himself that we were only losing because SNP people keep sharing things on Facebook.
"The nation is making a judgement to reject Labour. Among the minority of us who are disappointed about that, there's a great deal of grief, and grief can lead to anger. Some of us blame Facebook, some of us blame Twitter, and as crazy as it seems some of us blame Bebo. But my strong sense is that talking is the real culprit.
"For as long as talking is allowed, every Labour strategy meeting becomes an echo-chamber for these conspiracy theories about social media. That presents a profound challenge for those of us trying to confront the party with a dose of reality, and to promote healthier grieving."