I gather that straight-talking independent UNFILTERED independent straight-talking woman Shannon Donoghue, famed for her appearances on far-right podcasts and for her straight-talking UNFILTERED "I still really fancy Chris" posts on Instagram, is very upset about non-members of Alba expressing any view at all about what might be the best (or realistically the least-worst) outcome of the Alba internal elections. That leaves me with less than a couple of hours left to irritate her, because the polls close at 12pm. So if there are any passing stragglers who haven't yet voted, here's my quick guide to what the Alba leadership want to happen in each race, and therefore (in most cases) what would be best avoided.
Local Government Convener
Who the leadership want to win: CHRIS CULLEN
Who should win: FRANK ANDERSON
This is a simple one, because there's an exceptionally good candidate and an exceptionally bad candidate, and one of the two is going to win. Chris Cullen is a full member of the so-called "Corri Nostra", and as Shannon's fiancé will soon be Corri Wilson's son-in-law once the Wedding Of The Century finally takes place. From my personal experience of him on the Constitution Review Group and the Disciplinary Committee, he's a low-grade bully and he represents all that is worst about machine politics. By contrast, Frank Anderson is an independent thinker, has vast experience in local government, and would appear to be the exemplary candidate for the role.
Women's Convener
Who the leadership want to win: DEBBIE EWEN
Who should win: KIRSTY FRASER
Debbie Ewen presided over the kangaroo court that upheld my expulsion on 8th January. In fairness, I gather she didn't make any attempt to take part in the vote, but everybody I spoke to about her was insistent that she's Tasmina's woman, and very closely associated with the Corri Nostra, and would only have been selected for the task to smooth the way to the predetermined outcome.
I know next to nothing about Kirsty Fraser, but those I trust are pretty clear that she's the best candidate on offer.
Equalities Convener
Who the leadership want to win: SUZANNE BLACKLEY
Who should win: UNSURE
On a personal level I actually quite liked Suzanne during our time together on the NEC and the Constitution Review Group - she comes across as a real person who doesn't read from a script. But ultimately she does what she's told - on the CRG she was a reliable vote against democracy and transparency, and she also obediently put her name to the spurious complaint that led to my expulsion.
I can't offer any clear alternative recommendation on this one, though. Some speak highly of Tony Osy, but I mainly associate him with some of the odder visual stunts that Alba HQ have organised.
Organisation Convener
Who the leadership want to win: JOSH ROBERTSON
Who should win: EUAN MCGLYNN
Let's not beat about the bush here: Josh Robertson is an articulate young man who dresses well, but he's also a totally unscrupulous careerist leadership drone. His behaviour as convener of the Disciplinary Committee has been an absolute disgrace from day one - he's knowingly presided over multiple injustices at the behest of Chris McEleny and Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh. I could see in his eyes that he knew he was doing something terribly wrong, but he had obviously just set his mind to seeing it through because he reckoned the ends justified the means (the ends presumably being to bag himself a seat in the Scottish Parliament). If you want anything to change or improve in the Alba Party, it's not going to happen with Josh in such a key role. Euan McGlynn would be a far better choice.
Membership Support Convener
Who the leadership want to win: GAIL HENDRY
Who should win: MORGWN DAVIES
This is an absolute no-brainer - Morgwn is totally incorruptible, and when he put his name forward it looked like the leadership panicked because they realised he might well defeat Scott Fallon. So they've gone for the nuclear option and put up A Person Of Salmond Blood against him.
Depute Leader
Who the leadership want to win: NEALE HANVEY
Who should win: NEALE HANVEY
I have no great sympathy anymore for Neale Hanvey - in my view he has been cowardly and hypocritical by repeatedly attacking expulsions and suspensions in the Green Party while the McEleny Purges were going on in his own party, which of course he remained totally silent about. However there's a simple principle in life that you can't really go wrong with: if Chris McEleny is standing for election, you vote for his opponent.
Leader
Who the leadership want to win: KENNY MACASKILL
Who should win: Probably MacAskill, but this is a right bastard of a decision to have to make, and I don't envy you guys
Essentially this is a Cold War-style proxy battle for control of the Alba Party between Chris McEleny on one side (Ash Regan is his proxy), and Tasmina, the Corri Nostra, and Those Of Salmond Blood on the other (their proxy is Kenny MacAskill). I suppose if you're forced to choose between Sauron and Saruman, you just have to grit your teeth and choose Saruman, but there really isn't a good outcome here.