You've probably heard by now that the unspoofable Tory MP Rory Stewart is using crowdfunding in an attempt to finance his new "Stones Against Self-Determination" project (aka "Plan C"). The highlight of the fundraising page is a photo bearing the caption "the first stages of design", but which actually appears to be of Rory and a couple of groupies randomly performing Tai Chi in a field. He's looking for £50,000, which I would imagine will be quite a challenging target, given that so few of his friends in the Conservative parliamentary party have any spare cash. But in a valiant and self-sacrificing effort to hurry things along, he's offering this irresistible perk to anyone prepared to stump up £1000 -
"£1000 - A walk with Rory Stewart, MP
A tour of The Auld Acquaintance [ie. the pile of stones] followed by a walk in the beautiful Scottish borders with Rory Stewart OBE MP. Rory is an acclaimed author and has walked 6000 miles on foot across Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India and Nepal. More recently, he walked 400 miles across his constituency of Penrith and The Border."
Three hours ago, the first £1000 donation came in from an anonymous benefactor - but he/she decided against claiming the reward of a walk with Rory. It does give a whole new meaning to the phrase "you can't even give it away".
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PS. How exactly do you give someone a "tour" of a pile of stones? Isn't that another way of inviting them to walk in a circle for approximately twenty seconds?
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PPS. Are you as impressed as I am that Rory didn't merely walk 6000 miles, but did it "on foot"?