Friday, November 14, 2014

The Bell tolls for originality at the Guardian

I see that the Guardian's resident cartoonist Steve Bell (famed for sparkling, thought-provoking wit such as "Scotland should go f*** itself") has paid tribute to Nicola Sturgeon becoming this country's first female political leader by suggesting that her supposed belief in both nationalism and socialism makes her a Nazi.  Well, what a truly original "joke", Steve, and please rest assured that we haven't already heard it seventeen billion times before from the London commentariat.  Tell you what, if you want to continue with this groundbreaking humour, I've got a brand spanking new Knock-Knock joke that you could use in your next cartoon - it features the words "doctor" and "who", and the punchline is hilarious.

*  *  *

I haven't been watching FMQs on a regular basis for quite a few years now, but for obvious reasons I was keen to see yesterday's edition.  I can honestly say that what took me by surprise about it was just how dreadful Jackie Baillie was.  She comes across as such a confident speaker, and yet the content of what she was saying was, at times, utter gibberish.  She started by asking Alex Salmond to describe himself in one word, and laughed along with his very witty reply ("No"), but it then became excruciatingly clear that she had scripted her rambling follow-up question on the basis of an incorrect assumption of what his answer would be, and had just ploughed ahead regardless -

"I asked for one word but actually I got a whole dictionary full."

Er, no, you didn't.  You anticipated that he would describe himself in more than one word - but he didn't.  He just said "No".

"But, you know, it's interesting that he didn't use the word 'proud'."

Well, that might have been interesting if he'd used any words at all to describe himself, but he didn't.

Now, there's nothing wrong with taking a punt on what the First Minister might say, and having a prepared question up your sleeve if you guess correctly, but surely you've got to have (to coin a phrase) a Plan B just in case the wheeze doesn't work out?  I can't help feeling that Baillie would have stuck to her script even if Salmond had indeed used the word "proud", leaving the Labour MSPs behind her with fixed grins and pretending not to cringe.

In one sense this doesn't matter, because she's only in the role on a caretaker basis.  But I just hope for Labour's sake that Kezia Dugdale or Neil Findlay (presumably it'll be one of them) is a bit more agile when facing Nicola Sturgeon over the next eighteen months.

13 comments:

  1. Aye - Britnatticus Guardiensis really is a fine chap. What. What!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm slightly surprised but very happy that Stewart Hosie has been elected as Depute leader!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hosie's election gives NIcola the option to choose who she likes as deputy FM, which can only be a good thing.
    Would be interesting to see how Hosie would flex his leadership over Salmond if/when he returns south though.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I too am surprised and pleased that they went for Hosie! I thought Brown had it in the bag.

    The cartoon is indeed rather old hat. What's almost as depressing is all the people in the comments section going on about how offensive it is, saying it proves the Graun is a Westminster mouthpiece etc rather than just rolling their eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. A wise man once said: “The problem with incompetence is its inability to recognize itself.”
    Mushroom management, Negative Selection and the dilbert principle pretty much sum up what a cringe inducing mess Scottish labour has changed into. It's like they are competing to see who can be the most incompetent. Its a bizarre mutation of a ponzi scheme, where the members try to outdo one another in frothing mouthed imbecility.
    Scottish labour are increasingly, cartoonishly inept and amazingly swivel eyed in their dishonesty. They are the inheritors of the Scottish cringe and by God they wear it well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Technically no such thing as 'Scottish cringe'. The people that suffer from it are invariably British in national identity... as you note.

      Delete
    2. I prefer the term 'Unionist cringe' myself

      Delete
  6. The last FMQ, with Jackie Baillie challenging Alex Salmond, was humerously dire. She may well be substantial so far so BMI is concerned, but is sadly lacking in intellectual grasp and integrity. The Labour party in Scotland is a sad, dead joke, but I don't think many of their members are laughing.
    Time to put a penny under it's tongue, and send it over the Styx.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm glad you picked that up. I read it quoted in one of the papers, scratched my head, and presumed that there must have been a lacuna in the quote.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mr Angry, Steve Bell is rather quick off the mark is he not? After all, NS has only just been elected, surely even a Nat deserves a honeymoon period! Steve Bell is a nasty little BritNat who likes to doodle. Nothing more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One pic shows Bell (end) of the Guardian, and the other what he can do.
      file:///C:/Users/James%20Coleman/Desktop/Paint%20files/cartoons%20&%20other%20pics/BELL%20OF%20GUARDIAN.jpg

      file:///C:/Users/James%20Coleman/Desktop/Paint%20files/cartoons%20&%20other%20pics/BAREARSEDSCOT.jpg

      Delete
  9. Steve Bell has always been a disgusting racist. Why has he not been prosecuted for his crimes?

    Inciting hatred is illegal under laws created by his beloved neo-nazi blair dictatorship. Time they were used.

    ReplyDelete