It all started yesterday afternoon when he announced on social media that he was going to break a "major story" on Wings at 6pm. I actually took a look at the appointed hour, and I was naturally expecting something so earth-shattering that it would be on a par with Watergate, but instead it just turned out to be a preposterous letter Stew himself had written to the Chief Constable and the Crown Office demanding that a criminal investigation be launched into the SNP's use of the ring-fenced indyref funds. He delusionally seemed to believe that would be more than enough to produce the desired effect. But, alas, with timing worthy of Frank Spencer, Stew published the letter just minutes after the news broke that the police had already decided that no new investigation would take place following a similar complaint from Sean Clerkin. So it was already obvious that Stew's own demands were going to receive short shrift.
Today, Stew tried to preempt the setback he knew was coming by switching to full-on damage limitation mode, but I haven't seen him jump the shark to quite the same extent since the celebrated day on which he attempted to talk his way out of the humiliation of Reform UK mocking him for his loopy claim that they would grant Scotland an independence referendum. His tactic this time was to try to reframe failure as success by setting up a fatuous "heads I win, tails you lose" false choice: either a) the police and the Crown Office would give in to his demands (he already knew that wasn't a runner), or b) he would somehow have proof that Scotland is a "banana republic". Hmmm. I suspect there are a few possibilities in between those two extremes that Stew hasn't considered, but that less excitable souls may wish to.
Only a few hours later, Stew's mini-tragedy was already complete - he had received brusque rejection letters from both the police and the Crown Office, and it has to be said that the latter weren't bothering to even try to sound polite about the whole thing. The dismissive tone was of the "go away you utterly ridiculous man" variety.
Stew has been prancing around over the last ten days as if a reluctant world has been left with no choice but to belatedly acknowledge his genius and as if he can consequently now expect to be on the shortlist for a Pulitzer or something. But it's all a rather desperate performance, because deep down he knows perfectly well that the tide has come in on him and left him stranded. It's quite true that he played a role in bringing Peter Murrell's criminal behaviour to light, but that wasn't his objective at all, and he would in fact have been utterly horrified if he'd known that all he was going to achieve was to *save* the SNP from a rogue employee who otherwise might well have gone on to embezzle yet more huge sums from them and could eventually have left them completely ruined financially. Stew didn't even *suspect* that the SNP were the victims of an ongoing major crime - his interest was instead in the theory that the SNP's own collective use of the indyref fund money for general expenses constituted some sort of criminal act. That was the only court case he wanted, and his objective was to see the SNP destroyed by it. He's comprehensively failed on both counts. Stew and certain others were doubtless sincere in their belief that what occurred with the ringfenced fund falls under the scope of criminal law, but the brutal truth is that it wasn't for them to interpret the law - and those that do have that task have now reached a very clear decision. The SNP are certainly going through a deeply uncomfortable period, but that's only temporary and they can now rebuild and look to a brighter future, thanks in part to Stew doing his "Accidental Clouseau" and unmasking the embezzler before irreparable damage was done.
Try as we might, it really is going to be hard to dislike Stew if he keeps on unintentionally helping us quite as spectacularly as this. He may feel like a broken man tonight, but frankly I think the rest of us should be considering a whipround to fund some kind of statue.
I'm not a legal expert, so I don't know what the chances of the SNP actually receiving this money are, but if they do get it, that will rather neatly answer the vexatious question being asked by the usual suspects: "how would they afford an independence referendum campaign now?" https://t.co/kWdT73sOtv
— James Kelly (@JamesKelly) June 5, 2026
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Catch up with my recent YouTube videos:
If this Makerfield by-election poll is accurate, it's the end of the road for Keir Starmer as PM
RUPERT LOWE could be the midwife of Scottish independence, just as Mrs Thatcher was for devolution
ONE-FIFTH of Reform UK voters in Scotland would vote Yes to independence, says new Norstat poll
ASTOUNDING poll surge for SNP: how Stew's "Accidental Clouseau" moment may have SAVED party he hates
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