Saturday, March 10, 2018

The Parable of the Reasonable Tory Thieves

Tories:  Hey, Scotland!  We're going to have to break into your house soon and steal 111 items.  Don't worry, we'll only be taking what we need, and you'll still have plenty.  Next Tuesday suit you?

Scotland:  This is absolutely outrageous.  Stealing is totally unacceptable in a civilised society.   Please keep your hands off our possessions.

Tories:  OK, OK, maybe 111 is a bit excessive.  We'll only steal 25.  So, next Tuesday?

Scotland:  It is not acceptable for you to steal anything at all.

Tories:  Come on, be reasonable.  We're offering you a very substantial compromise.

Scotland:  We're sorry, but if you don't stop talking about breaking into our house and stealing our possessions, we'll have no option but to reinforce the locks on our doors, and to install advanced anti-intruder devices.

Adam Tomkins:  Reinforcing the locks on your doors simply because someone is threatening to steal from you is an unnecessary, ill-thought-through, incoherent and provocative step.  Scotland must stop sulking, fling its doors wide open, and rejoice at every item that is generously left behind by the benevolent intruders.


  1. There's obviously been lots of talks about them stealing the powers on drug regulation and food hygiene etc, for the obvious reason that they want to drop the regulations on those in future trade deals. However, one power that I noticed they wanted to retain that hadn't been talked about was the mutual recognition of professional qualifications. Anyone believe that the Tories will remember that Scottish Lawyers and Teachers have different qualifications from those in England when they're discussing Internationals Trade deals?

  2. Excellent parable!

    As for Lidington promising yet another Mundell-style Brexit bonanza of powers for Holyrood and the Senedd, I am reminded of the saying "the louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons".

    1. 1, 2, 3 spoons.... n spoons. Oi we seem to be 111 spoons short.

  3. Darkly amusing and worse too close to the truth.This is just a step in the direction to the abolition of Holyrood.

  4. Aye, a total bunch of CU next Tuesdays!

  5. Ach, Let's be reasonable now.
    How can May's BritNats negotiate away Scotland's fishing industry when the Scots pairliament hogs the powers.
    Nothing to do with shared frameworks.
    All about where power should rightly lie. That'll be London then.