In praise of....David Halliday's Twitter account

Inexplicably, the brilliant David Halliday has only 1772 followers on Twitter, so if you're not one of them, I thought you might appreciate a chance to catch up with some of his gems from recent days...

"Unionists seem incapable of getting over the disappointment of winning the referendum."

"Fraser Nelson nails it: the glaring moral flaw in Osborne's plans is that some of those who will suffer voted Tory."

"The tax credit cuts are way too broad. They hit all the working poor. We need to hit only some of them. Then we'll get it through ok."

"What's wrong with Bath?"

"Only Scots have a vote but we can all have a view.*
*Viewers in Bath are not eligible."

"If someone from Bath imparts information that you find discomfiting, don't worry. "So what? You're from Bath." is a legitimate response."

""Oh yes. The sage from *Bath*", they all sneer from London."

"Just awful to see some still clinging to outdated and discredited Bathism."

"Don't vote Yes to kick the effing Tories. Vote No, then we can...you know."

""Do you buy that?" snorts Gordon Brewer of Michael Mathieson's patient explanation.
"Yes" says Lord Purves."

"If British Labour thinks it'd be "mad" for the Scottish party to have different policies, it can just follow the Scottish party's line."

"Why is Scotland's unionist left so obsessed with the constitution? Why is everything judged as either strengthening or weakening the Union?"

"Blair expresses regret that many still doubt his sincerity."

"If Unionist politicians and commentators really wanted an end to division in Scotland they'd label their opponents idiots or lying fascists."

"If Brian Wilson wants us to read what he thinks then fair enough but surely he should pay us rather than the other way round?"

"If journalists said "Like you, we have our prejudices, conscious and not, and we're overworked and prone to error", that'd be fine."

"If you accept Scotland is a country, the onus is on you to say why it shouldn't be independent: economics; social conservatism; whatever."

"I don't deny an independent Scotland could prosper. Though obviously it wouldn't. How dare you say I'm saying that? I'm not. But it's true."

"An independent Scotland could prosper but wouldn't. Even if it did that wouldn't matter because it's not the point which is something else."

"Why do none of today's papers show photos of the throngs of Dundonian well-wishers who will have greeted their Royal Highnesses yesterday?"

"If you win something don't think shouting "You lost! You lost!" and berating your opponent for daring to train will mean there's no rematch."

"Surely the solution to vile division is a one-party state?"

"Great to see Willie Rennie reaching out to those Yes voters who accept he was right all along and that it was all a vile distraction anyway."

"Only a vile Nat would want to control broadcasting. No-one should control broadcasting, control of which should remain at Westminster."

"Scottish journalists are appalled that we no longer believe what they tell us. What on earth could have brought about this state of affairs?"

"The Scots. With their imagined grievances and whining. Coming down here. And taking over. With their imagined grievances and whining."

"The Scots who want self-determination are driven by hatred of the English. The English who want the same are driven by our constant whining."

"You don't need to vote Yes to kick the effing Tories. You can vote No, and then...emm...you know. Stuff."

""I hope she means holding a referendum if and only if it will gain an overwhelming majority". Like 55% to 45%."

"@IanMurrayMP Hi Ian. What do you say it is about pensioners that makes them unsuitable to be in leadership positions in political parties?"

"I tell my children not to use bad language in earshot of those who might be distressed by it. Clergy. Maiden aunts. Scottish journalists."

"Our most important task is to ensure that the rich and powerful are shielded from tweets that criticise them or contain the word "f***"."

"Save money on a TV licence fee by getting someone to read out the headlines from yesterday's Daily Mail."

"Instead of buying the Scotsman, just check Twitter for yourself."

"I know they told us Milliband would win but it's been months now. Isn't it about time Scottish Labour revealed their Plan B?"

"Britain's broad shoulders will protect our steel, oil and renewable energy industries. Or what'd be the point of having broad shoulders?"

"If all you did with your broad shoulders was go on about how broad they were and that you had them, you'd be a bit of a disappointment."

"I don't think the plan is just to ask John Mason what the law should be. I think more'd be needed to change it. Voting. That kind of stuff."

"I don't think Scotland should have control over welfare because I heard a guy in the pub say he wanted to see it cut."

"All our laws should be made for us in England where no-one is socially conservative and they are more enlightened. Hampstead actually."

"JK Rowling called me a "Death Eater". Isn't that abusive? To be fair, I've no idea what it is but I'm assuming it's not good."

"Thinking [JK Rowling is] a cosseted, self-regarding bully, which I do, is not abusing her. You've been ruder to me than I her."

"If JK Rowling expresses a view and you disagree, that's abuse. Simple. It's JK Rowling ffs! If you disagree you must be a Nat. Vile."

"Those who disagree with me are like Death Eaters. From my books. My successful books. Everyone's read them so you'll get the reference."

"Being very well off, and famous, and paying lots of tax, and donating to charity is great. But we're still allowed to disagree with you."

"Pity our billionaires, shielded from the uncouth and humdrum by only 5.74m followers and the uncritical adoration of the world's media."

And that really is just the last ten days.  If you'd like to see lots more of the same, you can follow David HERE.  (Or if you'd prefer something much less sophisticated, you can always follow me HERE.)