Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A message to the birds : what about MY rights?

We've got some swifts nesting in the loft at the moment, after a technologically-advanced drilling operation to gain access through a corner of the roof that seems to have been going on for several years. However, an internet search has revealed that it would be illegal to disturb the nest in any way, and we'll have to wait until winter at the earliest.

I dunno. These bloody immigrant birds - not content with stealing our women and our jobs, it seems they can just swan into our houses without so much as a by-your-leave, and the law tells us that's fine. They've got more rights than the decent, law-abiding, Labour-voting (sixth preference out of six), hard-working families of this country. We're not even allowed to shoot them.

Let's all move to Texas and napalm some geese.


  1. Oh dear, Swifts, Swanning in... it sounds like you have some sort of aviary in the roof there.

    I've got a Robin who waits for me to feed him meal worms. Every morning when I go downstairs there he is, sitting looking at me with a glassy stare until I fill his half coconut up. He obviously has a nest of hungry weans to feed as I've seen both him and Mrs Robbie out at the same time taking back the grub (literally) for the little Robbies. I seem to have lost the right NOT to buy bags of meal worms and sultanas as part of the weekly shop.

    But in honesty, I never thought anything that simple could bring as much joy as I get from watching them. isn't nature wonderful

  2. No Conan, not actually FULL of them as such.

  3. Coconuts, that is what attracts the tits but you'll get no swallows.

  4. GrassyKnollingtonMay 2, 2012 at 9:25 AM

    How dare you lure me in with a nice headline hinting at some juicy Kate Higgins baiting just to tell me you've got swifts in your loft....

  5. You think swifts in yer loft are bad, try Bats. They've got even more rights than swifts and they pee all over your insulation - Still love them tho'

  6. My wife is from Hamburg. There's a new sports shop complex in the city centre there, some 10 or 12 floors high. When they put the building up they built rows of swift nest boxes into the main vertical facade. It's proved very successful, and the area now has dozens of swifts swooping through the streets each evening emitting their characteristic screaming cries. Fantastic.

    Sadly our practice here is to block up the holes in houses to prevent nesting, even when they are no danger to the integrity of the building structure. A pity.

  7. Just think yourself lucky you haven't got bats in you loft (a European Protected Species), or badgers for that matter.