Friday, January 20, 2012

Six shamelessly trivial reasons to vote for independence

Most of us who support independence do so for weighty reasons - a belief in a more equal society, a detestation of the presence of inhuman weapons on this country's soil, a desire for a more dynamic economy. But I'm sure we can all think of some shamelessly trivial reasons that complement the more important ones beautifully. Here are my top six...

1) Scotland will have its own entry in the Eurovision Song Contest (naturally that was always going to be top).

2) When Eve Muirhead and co win the curling gold medal at the Pyeongchang Olympics in 2018, it'll be for Scotland, not Great Britain. Alas, we'll just have to accept that the 2014 gold will be for GB (perhaps Cameron's desire for an earlier referendum does have some merit after all).

3) We'll have a national Olympic association that actually supports and works with other Scottish sporting bodies, rather than undermining their very existence at every turn.

4) An immense strain will be lifted from countless TV sports presenters and commentators, who will no longer have to wearily go through the motions of pretending that they're speaking to a UK audience rather than an English one. (OK, they'll have to wait for Wales and NI to follow the Scottish example before that really happens, but it'll at least get the poor lambs one-third of the way there.)

5) The inevitable attempts to rig the TV leaders' debates at the next Westminster general election will still be an outrage, but won't actually matter.

6) It's a losing battle to try to convince several billion people all round the world that not all citizens of the UK are "English". If we can't move the perception closer to the facts, perhaps it would be simpler to move the facts closer to the perception?

Feel free to chip in with any other suggestions!


  1. 1. I can finally select "Scotland" as my country when signing up for things on the internet.

    2. No longer have to watch news coverage of what Michael Gove, Ken Clarke and other politicians who have no remit in Scotland are doing.

    3. I can stop arguing with unionists on the internet, thus leaving me much more free time to do other stuff.

    4. Assuming Reporting Scotland starts at 6pm and we go back to having genuinely local news at 6:30pm, hopefully they'll leave the in-depth coverage about the Old Firm for the more local news, meaning I'll never have to hear what stupid things they've been up to ever again.

    5. Andy Murray will win Wimbledon.

    6. Hopefully Art Sutter's career will be resurrected, since we won't be able to avoid Graham Norton or Jonathon Ross.

  2. 1. If Scotland votes for independence it'll be very exciting and we'll be the centre of attention (jazz hands at the ready!)

    2. The percentage of people called Nigel who live in my country will be slashed.

    3. Old Firm fans can, at last, settle down safe in the knowledge that they will never get to move south (as if there's any chance of that happening anyway).

    4. It will be proof positive that Scotland has finally learnt that taking (calculated) risks is utterly life affirming and that, to quote Pep Guardiola:
    "The biggest risk you can take is not to take risks."

  3. So I don't have to do another SNP jumble sale............

    Just returned from London and shall we say the press reaction and comment down south not very edifying in the past two weeks. Cameron in my view made a strategic mistake.

    interesting comment issued by Citigroup at 15.59 today :

    15.59 We certainly do not rule out a break-up of the UK over time. ONS data suggest that an independent Scotland would have a slightly better fiscal position than the rest of the UK [assuming Scotland gets its geographic share of oil and gas receipts]. Scotland could have a viable future as an independent country, although there are a lot of questions that would have to be resolved before that happens.

  4. Never hearing the phrase "Nats were brainwashed by Braveheart" again. Possibly never hearing the WORD Braveheart again unless it is applied to Robert the Bruce to whom it was in fact should apply.

    And then there is the delight of saying "Neener... Neener..." to all the people who said it could never happen. All right, maybe you Scots don't use that exact phrase so substitute the taunt of your choice. ;-)

  5. 1. Won't fret unnecessarily over every opinion poll.

    2. Won't be compelled to stay up until morning on election night.

    3. Exodus of Scotophobic Scots lifting national-morale to 4410ft.

    4. No more bomb attacks on Glasgow Airport.

    5. Setting locational quandaries for Scottish London Labour politicians.

  6. "Won't fret unnecessarily over every opinion poll."

    I have a feeling we'll still find some opinion polls to fret about, Hugh. Independence will just make it all the more vital that Richard Baker never gets the keys to Bute House!

  7. Richard Baker in government, in an independent state with full powers......I might be changing my mind on independence!

  8. 1, Won’t have to listen to ‘Scottish’ Labour droning on about how we’re ‘Stronger together with a Tory government at Westminster, weaker apart’, while telling us, at general elections, how terrible the Tories are.

    2. Can stop pretending to be interested in the opinions of David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband, on anything.

    3. Can stop pestering ‘Scottish’ Labour about which country in the world they’d like to aim Trident at. Go on, you know you want to.

    4. All political parties in Scotland can drop the prefix ‘Scottish’ from their names. This is an interesting one if you think about it.

    5. Won’t have to be anaesthetised every Thursday night as a consequence of listening to the inanities of the BBCs ‘Question Time’ and won’t, ever again, have to witness a chairman of a ‘politics’ programme in Scotland tell the panel that Scottish topics are taboo.

    6. The entertainment value of watching the chicken run of ‘Scottish’ Labour MPs from Westminster to Holyrood trampling over their MSP counterparts in an effort to find safe seats in an independent Scotland.

    Formerly Anonymous

  9. J.R. Tomlin - I believe the phrase you're looking for is "get it RIGHT up ye!"

  10. But think about how horrid being a "post nationalist" will be!

    You've spent a political lifetime fighting for the cause and then you win! What's next?

    As the Welsh poet HarrI Webb once said about Welsh Nationalism in the days of only 3% support for the cause:

    'One Day, when Wales is free and prosperous

    And dull, they'll all be wishing they were us'