As a public service, I thought I'd try to assist yet another befuddled journalist - this time Stephen Moss of the Guardian - with his list of fiendishly difficult questions about the independence referendum...
"I dislike nationalist politics and hope the Scots give a resounding no to the question of seceding from the union. That vote will be fraught with difficulty. Who will be the electorate?"
The people of Scotland.
"Will it just be the 5.2 million people in Scotland, which includes half a million people born in England and plenty from elsewhere?"
"Or will it include the 800,000 born in Scotland but living in England..?"
"Who has the right to rule on the question of statehood?"
The residents of the territory in question, in line with the long-established principle of self-determination.
"Do people in the rest of the UK have the right to vote on whether Scotland should leave the union?"
No. See above.
"And if Scotland wants to leave, why not Wales or Cornwall or Northumbria?"
Absolutely, if they want to. But not if they don't.
"And what if the Orkneys and Shetlands want to express their own very different identities?"
They should be allowed to. Although I might have had more faith in your knowledge of those different identities if you hadn't made the classic schoolboy/weatherman error of referring to them as "the Orkneys" and "the Shetlands".
"A Breton or a Bavarian is every bit as proud of his or her regional identity as a Scot. Should they be given the right to secede?"
Yes, if they want to. I'm starting to feel like I'm repeating myself here.
"Should Basques and Catalans leave Spain?"
If they want to. (*Suppresses yawn*)
"Should the political absurdity that is Belgium break up?"
If either Wallonia or Flanders (or both) vote to become independent, then yes. If not, no.
Streuth, that was exhausting. After a grilling like that, explaining the Hegelian dialectic is going to be a walk in the park.