Tuesday, July 29, 2014

A Commonwealth Games FAQ, brought to you by George Orwell

Q.  Can I bring the flag of a political cause or of a non-competing nation to the venue?

A.  Absolutely NOT.  The flags of political causes and of non-competing nations are strictly forbidden, and if you wave one at the venue you will be removed by the police.

Q.  The UK is a non-competing nation.  Is it OK if I wave a Union Jack?

A.  Yes, of course it is!  But please remember that waving the flags of non-competing nations is not allowed.

Q.  Can I consume any flavour of ice cream at the venue?

A.  Regrettably not.  Due to sponsorship arrangements, only the consumption of raspberry ice cream will be permitted.

Q.  Vanilla is David Cameron's favourite flavour.  Is it OK if I consume vanilla ice cream at the venue, even though only raspberry is permitted?

A.  Yes, of course you can!  But please remember that only the consumption of raspberry is permitted, and if you try having strawberry or any other non-raspberry flavour that isn't David Cameron's favourite, the police are likely to intervene.

Q.  Is it OK for contributors to the BBC's coverage of the Games to make comments that might be construed, however implausibly, as favouring one side or the other in the Scottish independence referendum?

A.  Categorically NOT.  Surely you saw that Chris Hoy couldn't even use the word 'Yes' when he was talking about a marriage proposal, and instead had to weirdly use the word 'acceptance'.

Q.  But even though it's not OK for the BBC coverage to be seen to take sides in the referendum, is it still OK for BBC hosts such as Gary Lineker to presuppose a No vote by endlessly inviting people like Ian Thorpe and Chris Hoy to speculate on the prospects for "Team GB" in Rio, without ever bothering to issue a disclaimer that there probably won't be a Team GB in Rio if Scotland votes Yes?

A.  Did you really need to ask?


  1. Could you possibly be suggesting there's a bit of "doublethink" going on, assisted by the BBC (where "BB" stands for "Big Brother"). How doubleplusungood of you!

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