"The Scottish Government must do everything! No, they must do nothing! Because they're useless, and I would trust them with my life!"

I had to rush off urgently at 6.30pm, which unfortunately meant I had to abandon a highly entertaining - if also slightly depressing - Twitter exchange with an anti-independence Labour chap called Ross Hampsey.

Ross Hampsey : Well I suppose @theSNP will blame the closure at the refinery on being part of the union

Me : Do you see the UK government stepping in?

Ross Hampsey : why should they step in when the Scottish parliament are trying to deal with it? If the snp want to be independent

Ross Hampsey : they should demonstrate the are able to cope with scottish issues

Me : Because some of the relevant powers do not reside with the Scottish Parliament. That's kind of the point, isn't it?

Ross Hampsey : well if they dont have the power surely they are in over there head and should leave it to Westminster to deal with?

Me : Make up your mind, man! Which is it?

Ross Hampsey : well if they dont have the power why are they involved? #confused

Me : Could I refer you to the word "some"?

Ross Hampsey : so surely they could ask Westminster to get involved? Oh no forgot snp=glory hunters

Me : Could you perhaps break out of cretin mode, and tell me what you personally think the UK govt should be doing right now?

Ross Hampsey : you said the Scottish parliament didn't have enough power for it so what increased power would help here?

Me : Power over energy policy. Now, do you as a unionist seriously have NO OPINION on what the UK govt should be doing?

Ross Hampsey : this brings me back to my point why are they getting involved them. Nd yeah thr ukgov should probs be holding talks

Me : Oh yeah, hurrah for the union - the govt you put all your faith in should "probs be holding talks". Good luck with that.

Ross Hampsey : but clearly they dont feel the need to as the snp is doing everything they would do what else do u think should be done?

Ross Hampsey : but the Scottish parliament which I also have faith in is holding. Those talks what more do you want done?

Ross Hampsey : if the snp wanted more to bedone they surely would ask the ukgov to get involved.

That is one hell of a lot of dramatic mood swings in the space of five minutes. I don't think Mr Hampsey does ambivalence, let alone subtlety.

Do you know what the punchline is here? He's the member of the Scottish Youth Parliament for Greenock and Inverclyde - which presumably (and terrifyingly) means that someone must have voted for him. I was going to make the obvious point of "heaven help the people of Greenock and Inverclyde if this is their political future", but then I remembered that Iain McKenzie is the actual, real Labour MP for Inverclyde as of this moment. So the heartening news for the people of Inverclyde is that things won't be getting any worse.