Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Does Douglas Alexander really think he can win Yes voters back to the Labour cause by patronising them?

A Labour party strategist last night acknowledged that his party was facing a hammering in Scotland - and claimed it was all because of TALKING.

"Gone are the days when people communicated in a more natural way," sighed the apparatchik, who didn't want to be named. "It used to be very simple - you'd receive Labour party literature, and you'd digest it silently. But suddenly people are, how can I put this...talking, and it's just no good for them."

Labour's deepest concern about the new-fangled medium of talking is that it is lowering party morale, due to the easy spread of crackpot conspiracy theories about Facebook being a secret SNP weapon. The anonymous strategist recounted with bemusement an encounter he recently had in his local Asda.

"He was a perfectly intelligent man - well, I hope he was, he's been Shadow Foreign Secretary for a few years - and yet he had absolutely convinced himself that we were only losing because SNP people keep sharing things on Facebook.

"The nation is making a judgement to reject Labour. Among the minority of us who are disappointed about that, there's a great deal of grief, and grief can lead to anger. Some of us blame Facebook, some of us blame Twitter, and as crazy as it seems some of us blame Bebo. But my strong sense is that talking is the real culprit.

"For as long as talking is allowed, every Labour strategy meeting becomes an echo-chamber for these conspiracy theories about social media. That presents a profound challenge for those of us trying to confront the party with a dose of reality, and to promote healthier grieving."


  1. LOL at Douglas 'Yoda' Alexander being seduced by the dark side of the force: "there's a great deal of grief, and grief can lead to anger."

    Anonymous David

  2. Should one laugh hysterically or cry hysterically? I think I'll alternate.

  3. Can't stop thinking, "you stop talking" blubbering fool.

    Shut yer mouth and give your arse a chance Duggie :)

    These people are a joke. Roll on May. New Labour ???- Nah NO Labour.

  4. This is the point in Orwell's 1984 where the 'system' becomes aware of the danger to their position in power, that they unite under one party state and permanent war feeding the proles Newspeak and Doublethink, booze and fitbaw, now glue and crisp pokes. Is that conspiracy enough for you Mr Alexander?

  5. TNS UK poll Scotland subsample

    41% SNP
    20% Lab
    15% Con
    9% Lib
    7% Green
    4% UKIP

    No bad for the SNP for a TNS subsample.

    1. Its not so much the SNP figure that matters as "Is Labour +/- 28%?". >28% joy, well relative joy, for Labour; <28% deep joy for the SNP.

  6. from James Coleman

    "He was a perfectly intelligent man"

    Do you think he's the husband of the "perfectly intelligent woman" that wee Douggie met in HIS supermarket?

  7. James please tell me this is a piss take, if it is not the likes of Wee Ginger Dug and BBC Scotlandshire are out of business.

    1. Rumours of our demise have been greatly exaggerated.

  8. "Does Douglas Alexander really think . . . ". You could have stopped there. Granted he can memorise chunks of party message and selected statistics, and use them to respond to any question he is asked. I don't imply that response has to be aligned with question; for example, in a BBC interview that I watched last month he answered all bar one of the questions with his sound bite of the day ("the safest way to get rid of the Tories is to vote Labour"). I just hope that others are as impressed as I am.

  9. Fortunately I had just read the actual story, otherwise I'd have no clue what this was about. Good if a bit obscure satire.

  10. Ever since the referendum I have been increasingly concerned that I a can no longer spot the difference between reporting of actual political events and quotes and satire. I consider myself fairly savvy but it is now nearly impossible to tell whether someone's pulling my leg or if some politician has actually said the most stupid thing imaginable. Now I know why the likes of 'Newsthump' has to state up front that its a joke - politicians are stupid beyond reason..

    1. That is true. I wrote a piece, clearly satirical, on the britnat Final solution to the Scottish Question, and was attacked by nationalists (which I enjoyed for a while) because folks believed it.

      That it to say, that it was clearly satirical was not clear enough. Ended up having to include a "THIS IS SATIRE" below the headline. Kinda spoils it in my book. Oh well . . .

      It absolutely is a measure of the carnival barking insanity of the britnat zeitgeist that it is at times quite literally, beyond satire.


  11. YouGov sub-sample: SNP 44, Lab 26, Con 18, LD 7, Others <2.


    1. Beat me too it! Good SNP lead considering the high Labour score in GB.

  12. Some good polling.

    Although it shows how influencial the press and media can be. We've heard about immigration now for what must be years on a constant loop.

    39% classed it as an important issue in this YG poll, yet 5% have it as have a major effect on them.

    The poll overall regards voting is good, just hope we collectively hold our nerve and vote en masse SNP in just a few weeks time.

  13. I read the Alexander article & watched Murphy on Newsnight trying to make some kind of attack on the SNP around the Barnett formula. It occurs to me that SLab are talking inside their head and it all sounds sensible and correct to them but when they speak it out loud it is revealed as complete mince. They will be looking at themselves thinking 'why doesn't that idiot stop talking'. All the comforting stuff they are telling themselves and the fantastic lines that will destroy the SNP is all fantasy from the SLab bunker.

  14. Seems to me that Dougie A is following in the footsteps of that US politician Dick Tuck who, on being defeated in a poll, famously said " the people have spoken ..the bastards"

  15. New survation poll looking something like this:
    47% SNP
    28% Lab
    14% Con
    4% Lib
    7% Other

    Before turnout weighting?


    1. I make it, after excluding the 140 undecideds:

      SNP 366/860 = 42.6%
      Lab 216/860 = 25.1%
      Con 112/860 = 13.0%
      LD 35/860 = 4.1%
      Unknown / Other 131/860 = 15.2%

      The "unknown / other" figure in my calculation does look too high, right enough.

    2. I just plotted weighted number of respondents for each main VI versus projected results from their last poll and used that to make a correlation into which I put the latest number of respondents and got a projection.