While most of us were enjoying our Thursday lunch, blissfully unaware of the existential threat that faced Scotland's democracy, Tavish Scott and his hardy band of realists continued with their grim, reluctant preparations for apocalypse. For a tantalising period yesterday afternoon it had appeared that the scare might just be over - Tavish's now-legendary speech at Holyrood had, it seemed, single-handedly brought about capitulation from the Chief Evildoer (the politician formerly known as John Swinney). Although the C. E. had impertinently insisted on choosing his own words, Tavish's attack had been so forensic, so devastating, so Obviously True, it was surely apparent to all right-thinking people that the newly-issued apology could only be intended to conform in full with each and every aspect of canonical Tavishian thought on What An Apology Was Required For.
But today, at First Minister's Questions, it became frighteningly clear that may not be entirely the case. More in anger than sorrow, Tavish had little choice but to return to a war footing on Behalf Of Scotland. At his fearsome hair-splitting finest, he demanded to know what the C. E. had actually said sorry for - could it really be that the apology was merely for not being forthcoming enough, rather than for actively misleading parliament? After all, hadn't Tavish provided damning documentary evidence yesterday that the C. E. had repeatedly talked about making decisions on the Scottish Variable Rate when there was no decision to be made?
But, as the First Minister pointed out, there was just one problem here - the SVR had never, at any point, been implementable within less than ten months. Including the period when Tavish Scott had been Deputy Finance Minister. So whenever the former Labour/Lib Dem coalition had talked about making a decision not to use the SVR in the following financial year, that had been - according to the inescapable principles of Tavishian thought - a bit of a porky.
By the look on Tavish's face, we were no longer awaiting apocalypse. Apocalypse had arrived.
Please don't tell me he's the one that's going to have to resign now? Life's full of these cruel little ironies...
James, I suppose that the Parliament being 11 years old, some of the Parliamentarians do act like a 11 years old. It can be a difficult phase for a 11 years old who thinks he is she is always right even when they are in the wrong. With age the Parliament should mature and 11 years old will want to leave home eventually. We still have the teenage years to go through yet.
ReplyDeleteThis week it has been about bald men fighting over a comb.
Marcia
Very true, Marcia - although it's been reported extensively, the public must still be absolutely baffled as to what this has been about.
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