Wednesday, October 28, 2015

David Torrance has a tattoo of Oliver Letwin on his left thigh. Sorry, ignore me, I'm being "pedantic" again.

I did hear on the grapevine that David Torrance raised a few eyebrows with his comments about the votes in the House of Lords the other night, but I've only just caught up with the relevant tweets in their full glory. 

"A curious tweet from the FM: 1) it's not possible to 'abstain' in the Lords & 2) Labour tactics arguably worked..."

Sorry, what?  It's not possible to abstain in the Lords?  What happens to peers who refuse to vote?  Are electric shocks applied to their shoulder blades?  Are they threatened with ejection into a tank full of piranhas?  Are they forced to look at Michelle Mone's photo collection until they scream "all right, all right, I'll vote, just STOP THE PAIN!!!!!!!"

So on second thoughts, it turns out that...

"To clarify, members of House of Lords can "abstain", but that's not what Labour peers did this evening, they voted for the successful motion"

As opposed to voting for the unsuccessful motion, which was unsuccessful mainly because...er, Labour abstained.  Still, I'm sure we're all grateful for David's "clarification" that when he said it's impossible to abstain in the Lords, what he actually meant was that it's possible to abstain in the Lords.  On the whole, I'm inclined to say it was our own fault for "misunderstanding" him in the first place.  He later apologised for having been "too pedantic", although in my view the only thing he should even dream of apologising for is redefining "pedantic" as meaning "totally inaccurate" without giving the Oxford English Dictionary sufficient notice.

To recap on what we've learned -

If you abstain on the renewal of Trident at 5.30pm, but then vote in favour of a pay rise for MPs at 5.40pm, you did not in fact abstain on the renewal of Trident.  You just voted for something else instead.  That's how it works.  Fact.

Andrew Marr once memorably said without a hint of irony that, although Torrance is Alex Salmond's unofficial biographer, "unionists can trust this book as much as nationalists can".  So let me just say that when the long-awaited David Torrance Pocket Guide To How Votes In The House Of Lords Work finally hits our bookshelves next year, it'll be a book that can also be trusted by people who don't want to understand how votes in the House of Lords work.

40 comments:

  1. I don't know about him being pedantic, more delusional.

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  2. Torrance has made a good living for himself, stalking SNP leaders to write poorly sourced mince about them, and badmouthing the SNP in general.
    Of course, anyone who has a bad word to say about Salmond and Sturgeon is guaranteed to get a gig on the BBC and the Herald.

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    1. I was at the Dundee University public meeting during the referendum. Torrance was interviewing Alex Salmond who did a series of put downs about him being the 'biographer'. 'I learnt things about myself that even I didn't know'.

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    2. I was at the one with Nicola where he thought he'd point out a major flaw in the Indy argument; that with Independence, the Barnett Formula would be abolished.

      He's a dimwit for whom no amount of ridicule is enough. You let him off lightly.

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    3. Glasgow Working ClassOctober 28, 2015 at 10:10 PM

      The Barnett Formula does an injustice to the English working class. The Jocks have been milking it. Time for it to be spread equally and no more hard done to stories from Joke of the North.

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    4. Eat your cereal.

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    5. Hmmm, let me think, now who calls Scots Jocks, whilst occasionally feigning a poor "jock" accent and stresses the Glasgow part of his handle? Hmm let me think? Whole fryer on your shoulder me old mucker, never mind a few chips!

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  3. Torrance is like Andrew Neil; full of himself and intellectually deficient.

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    1. Glasgow Working ClassOctober 28, 2015 at 7:06 PM

      I suppose you have to be an intellectual tae spot a deficient! Large cap fur your heid methinks.

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    2. Eat your cereal.

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    3. Glasgow Working ClassOctober 28, 2015 at 9:07 PM

      Anon. NHS Grampian in crisis. The poorest in Scotland unable to attend Uni and College. Do eat your cereal without milk. How many impersonations do you do as well as Dan.

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    4. Glasgow Working ClassOctober 28, 2015 at 9:18 PM

      Anon, I have had an email from Susan who lves in a poor Glasgow East End area. She would love to attend University, what are the Nat sis doing to help her?

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    5. Eat your cereal.

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    6. Glasgow Working ClassOctober 28, 2015 at 11:49 PM

      And oor poor wee Susan still wants an answer from Anon. Susan is too poor to afford cereal.

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    7. Eat your cereal.

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    8. Susan will get into Uni when she has got the grades that are required. She won't need to worry about paying for the course, only her own abilities.

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  4. Poor David, born with a silver foot in his mouth, has just been sliced and diced like sushi and served with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

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  5. Perhaps he could coauthor with that well known constitutional expert Lady Mone of somewhere or another.

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  6. Maybe he spends too much time trying to look like a beatnik from Greenwich Village. To be bothered about the meanings of adjectives.

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  7. Maybe he spends too much time trying to look like a beatnik from Greenwich Village. To be bothered about the meanings of adjectives.

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    Replies
    1. Glasgow Working ClassOctober 28, 2015 at 11:53 PM

      Maybe you should try social and progressive objectives and stop being a Nat si.

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    2. Eat your cereal.

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  8. Yes, I've tumbled it! Glasgow Working Class IS David Torrance - piss-elegant but hostile, persistent but ignorant, determined but fighting a losing a battle...

    Never been seen on the same comments page together?

    Love,

    A Nat si

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  9. He comes across as a total know-it-all and points his critiques towards the yes side rather than the no. However, I think there's nothing much wrong with reading and being challenged by different points of view. He's clearly a unionist but at least puts an argument together half the time. His pretend nuetrality is nauseating though, I agree.

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    1. and to add, on the biography. If you're unable to really talk personally to the subject you're missing out on their perspective to such a degree that you're unable to make judgements on their version of events. I'm sure it's still a good read and will unveal a lot but it's laughable he doesn't have access to the main protagonist!

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    2. The Sturgeon was reviewed as being redolent of the sound of doors being closed in his face. IOW her friends refused to talk to him or his researchers. The Salmond 'biography' warned people of what he was about.

      But not even hardly anyone being prepared to talk to him was our intrepid researcher daunted by his almost total lack of material? Not bit of it. Media reports were scrutinised in lieu of knowing testimony. But of course the media are all unionists . . .

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  10. Glasgow Working ClassOctober 29, 2015 at 11:29 AM

    Provided Susan is not from Easterhouse etc etc. Eat yer cereal.

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    1. Eat your cereal.

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    2. Eh? The uni is as open to someone from Easterhouse as from Pollokshields. Whole point of it being based on exam results, not daunting tuition fees. If Susan wants to go to uni she just needs to get the results. What other basis is there of doing it?

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  11. Anon - A new low even for GWC! He has managed to fall beneath the low standards of his previous guff.

    Congrats GWC!

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  12. Glasgow Working ClassOctober 29, 2015 at 7:38 PM

    Thanks for the congrats Nov however working class children are receiving a worse education and larger classes under the Nat sis. So you and Anon being self congratulatory Nat sis are out of touch with reality. Susan from Easterhouse has no chance. But thanks for letting me expose Nat si Tartan Tory hypocrisy.

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    1. Eat your cereal.

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    2. Glasgow Working ClassOctober 30, 2015 at 1:47 AM

      Nat sis gone tae bed tae think again. Och Aye ra Nooooooooo. Jings Crivens.
      Tony Blair moves in wae Assange fur sanctuary. Anon over on other websites talkin shite as usual, Mr Jockannory.

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    3. Eat your cereal.

      Delete
  13. It would seem, "Glasgow Working Class" continues to refuse and refrain from regurgitating his"Nat -sis" coco-pops, and persists in attempting to derail the thread of decent, informed conversation.
    l
    "Snap. Crackle. And Pop! off" you vile, belly-belching toad of a discourse irritant.

    For goodness sake, awa' and munch and thole your cereal sans milk for you, you rascal from the arse-squeak of the arm-pit of the uber-Anglo Home Counties as depicted via the Estuary English dialect so beloved of the broadcast & print MSM.

    To conclude, may ask of you: Are you a Chelsea or West Ham supporter?

    Jimmiy Cricket, and haud ma sporran, am aff ma gemme, you are a Millwall chap are you not?

    A full-on, Morris Dancing "Wotcha, Guv?" fan-dancer from somewhere approximating some black spot in UKania?

    Broad brush assertions of your roots.

    Forgive me.

    Dauvit

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  14. Replies
    1. Glasgow Working ClassOctober 29, 2015 at 9:38 PM

      And we have Billy Bragg an ex international socialist on BBC Q Time tonight. Now a supporter of Scottish Nat sis. You do laugh a lot when you get older. The youngsters nowadays do not have a clue what their heroes were saying yesterday.

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    2. Eat your cereal.

      Delete
  15. Glasgow Working ClassOctober 29, 2015 at 9:22 PM

    David old fellow I would not have a go at Morris dancers except from a distance. You would have more chance of surviving after insulting the Celt Gers morons than them. I note wee Nicola is considering giving public money to independent Catholic schools outwith local authority control. Tony Blair would be proud of her . New Labour, Tartan Tory Nat sis and real Tories three cheeks on the same arse, divide the working class and create division.

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