If you caught any of the TV coverage of Friday's rather wonderful session of the Davis Cup match between Great Britain and the USA, you'll have heard the Scot Goes Pop horn going into overdrive for Andy Murray and James Ward. That's not a creepy euphemism - I was given a free horn when I arrived at the venue, and as a result I made my presence well and truly felt.
Now, obviously entering a "Deepest Fantasies of Craig Reedie" theme park in the East End of Glasgow does pose some dilemmas for a vile Cybernat such as myself. For example...
Do I follow the instruction that came with my ticket to wear red, white and blue to show my undying devotion to all things British? Er, probably not.
Do I proudly belt out the "national anthem", ie. God Save the Queen? Er, probably not.
Do I stubbornly decline to see anything remotely provocative in the "let's all back the Brits in Glasgow" tweet from David Cameron that is gratuitously displayed on the big screen? Er, probably not.
Do I resist the temptation to groan when the introduction for Andy Murray inevitably contains the dread words "seventy-seven years" and "Fred Perry"? Er, probably not.
I had thought of getting my retaliation in first by bringing along the saltire that I bought for the closing ceremony of the Commonwealth Games, but I reckoned there was sure to be some fascistic Olympic-style ban on the flags of undesirable nations such as Scotland, and I couldn't be bothered with the hassle. Credit where it's due, though - there were no ridiculous rules of that sort, and plenty of saltires could be seen in the crowd. I suspect there would have been even more if people had realised it wouldn't be frowned upon.
I have to say that James Ward's epic comeback to beat John Isner was the most exciting sporting occasion I've ever witnessed in the flesh, although after the best part of five hours I was starting to think back to a quote from a female tennis player years and years ago (I don't recall who it was) after she won a ridiculously long match at Wimbledon -
"I knew I wanted to win, I just couldn't remember why."