Friday, October 19, 2012

Iain McKenzie, coincidence, and cosmic beauty

A woman walks along a random street, hundreds of miles from home. She passes a phone box where the phone is ringing, and out of curiosity answers it. On the other end of the line is her husband, who addresses her by name. He thinks he is talking to her on her mobile phone, but has got the wrong number.

Some people are scared by a coincidence like that. They assume that it could not possibly happen by random chance, and must have some underlying meaning. In many ways that's the foundation of superstition - and perhaps of one or two religions as well.

But, in truth, science tells us that it's statistically inevitable that these amazing coincidences will occasionally occur - so much so, in fact, that we ought to be far more frightened if they don't happen. So when we discover that Inverclyde's Labour MP Iain McKenzie rented a flat using taxpayers' money, and by completely random chance discovered later that he had accidentally ended up with a fellow Labour MP as his landlady, we shouldn't be scared, and we certainly shouldn't be sceptical of his story. We should simply embrace it as one of those extraordinary phenomena, like the aurora borealis, that enrich our world with so much beauty. And when we discover that, even more remarkably, three other MPs also accidentally rented flats from fellow MPs, we should feel even more enriched.

This is, it must be said, a special moment for those of us who predicted that something truly wonderful would happen if the people of Inverclyde had the good sense to elect McKenzie as their MP.

* * *

I've just heard that George Osborne has been caught sitting in the first-class compartment of a train with a standard-class ticket. He asked the conductor for special permission to stay where he was to avoid having to mix with the plebs, but was refused. As per what happened on a ScotRail train last year, I trust a "big man" arrived on the scene to deliver swift and violent justice to the fare-dodger, with the cheers of fellow passengers and the right-wing press ringing in his ears?


  1. Coincidences, eh?

    If Osborne tried to palm off an old ticket and then told the conductor to fuck off, then yep - he would deserve to get huckled aff the train. Gaun yersel Big Man for preventing hours of wasted police time on thon nyaff. String em up etc.

  2. Absolute rubbish for him to say he didn't know that his landlady is a Labour MP. Sorry it don't wash.

    Did enjoy watching the live Nato debate from the SNP Conference at Perth.

  3. I never thought that the last "finance and benefits" shake up at Westminster would last for any length of time. Nice to see my belief in the Westminster troughing system is still intact.

    Maybe perhaps we're better together after all. :D

  4. I expect poor old Osborne didn't know there was such a thing as second class.

    Perhaps it has never occurred to him to wonder how plebs got from one part of the country to another. Or maybe he just thought that they didn't.

    It seems to me that our MPs are the most inventive group of people. After all it's not every Tom, Dick or Liam that, having been thwarted by the Daily Telegraph in their efforts to feather their nests, would put their not inconsiderable talents to maximum use and improve the lot of...well, themselves.

    Cunning plan indeed. Cunning as a Fox even. And all totally legal too. My goodness. I'm impressed.

  5. Since Osborne didn't do anything wrong, illegal or against the train company rules, WHY ARE YOU TURNING INTO TIM????
    Spud Smurphy stealing from taxpayers is a story. Man pays for train ticket isn't. Not even it he's an evil Tory.

    Also if I'd been stuffed up by that policeman he'd have been out of a job before the daily scumbag could bribe the story out of him.

  6. from a post on PB:

    A MAJORITY of Scots would vote for independence if they believed the Conservatives were going to win the next British election, according to a ground-breaking new poll.

    It suggests that antipathy towards David Cameron’s party in Scotland, where it has only one MP, could prove a decisive factor as Scots decide whether to remain in the union with England.

    The Panelbase poll of nearly 1,000 Scots for The Sunday Times and Real Radio Scotland found that support for independence stands at 37%, while 45% are opposed and 17% are undecided.

    But when asked how they would vote in the 2014 referendum if they believed the following year’s UK general election would lead to a Tory-led government or another Tory-Lib Dem coalition, support for independence surges. The poll found that 52% would be likely to vote Yes under that scenario while 40% said they would be likely to vote No and 8% are unsure.