Thursday, March 24, 2011

Sizzlingly sexy slogans for a bigger, better, brighter tomorrow

I was relieved to discover via Caron Lindsay that most rank-and-file Lib Dems have enough sense to be distinctly unimpressed by Nick Clegg's weird new slogan "Alarm Clock Britain". My own problem with it is not so much that it's patronising or offensive - more that it's utterly meaningless. OK, I know it probably has some spurious logic to it, but any three word slogan that requires a three hundred word explanatory note has got a flaw. It's the political soundbite equivalent of abstract modern art.

Anyway, if we've got to the point where slogans don't have to make any immediate sense, but do have to involve a) everyday activities or familiar objects and b) the name of a country or location, here are a few helpful suggestions for any political strategists out there -

Electric Razor Scotland

Hot Toddy Wales

Lemsip Max London

Wheelie-Bin Aberdeenshire

Event Planner Israel

Stubborn Stain Senegal

Fountain Pen Saudi Arabia

Sleigh-Ride Paraguay

Unexpected Puddle Poland

Involuntary Bungee Jump Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia

Caron mentions in a comment on another blog that the only slogan she can think of worse than "Alarm Clock Britain" is "Have You Got the Guts to Vote SDP?". But I'd have thought the latter was the stuff of genius, brilliantly preparing the ground for the inevitable moment in the post-election press conference when Dr Owen shrugged his shoulders and said - "Well, don't look at me. Didn't have the guts, did they?"

1 comment:

  1. Tea Strainer Tibet

    Milk Jug Malta

    Fleece Lined Finland

    The possibilities are endless. I imagine that he means the poor people who have to get up in the morning to go to work. Nick must fondly imagine that, like him and his friends, everyone sets the alarm clock for 6.30. Possibly he is unaware of the fact that in our 24 / 7 world people go to work at all manner of times and often only work part-time afternoon shifts.

    It is though, really important to understand what your slogan means. I’m still chuckling at john Humphries making a fool out of Ed Milly for not actually knowing who comprised the squeezed middle or whatever his first slogan was.