The world hasn't seen a debate as fierce as this since the fateful day Donald Trump first uttered the word "covfefe". Up and down the land, co-workers have been arguing, marriages have become strained, children have been pleading with their baffled mothers, and it's all in search of the answer to one simple question: what exactly did Bella Caledonia mean when it tweeted this?
"Mind-numbingly bored of mid-spectrum bloggers spewing their p*** and bile into the public sphere."
Countless domesticated Cybernats begged Bella to be let in on the secret of what a "mid-spectrum blogger" actually is, and which particular mid-spectrum bloggers the tweet was referencing. No explanation was forthcoming (although, let's face it, a number of us probably weren't going far wrong if we thought we felt our ears burning). Having done a bit of historical research, I can reveal that this isn't even the first time that the mystery phrase has been given an outing. Back in March 2015, Bella said the following in an editorial about women-only shortlists -
"I for one am getting bored by mid-spectrum male monotone bloggers who can only speak in the language of anger."
That doesn't actually shed any more light on the situation, because no clarification was provided in that article either. However, it seems to confirm that Bella has a very well-developed notion of what a "mid-spectrum blogger" is, even if that isn't being shared with the rest of us. In the absence of any hard facts, here's some speculation about the various possibilities...
1) Autism. Bella might be suggesting that certain undesirable bloggers are either autistic or have characteristics that are comparable to autism. Admittedly it seems highly unlikely that Bella would use quite such a tactless insult, especially not on two separate occasions, but the possibility can't be entirely ruled out, for the obvious reason that the word "spectrum" is most commonly used in relation to autism. People with Asperger's Syndrome and the like are regarded as having "high-functioning autism", those who are severely autistic are regarded as having "low-functioning autism", and those in between are "mid-spectrum".
2) Liberal Democrats. Bella could be complaining about bloggers who are in the middle of the political spectrum. Again, that seems a bit of a stretch, but from a RISE perspective "centre-left" may well seem like a downright catty barb.
3) Unexceptional talent. The spectrum Bella is referring to could be that of ability, with the high-spectrum wordsmiths of Bella (a website I've written for twice, I hasten to add) being contrasted with the mid-spectrum oiks who lower the tone pretty much everywhere else. But this theory fits in a bit too neatly with the deeply unfair perception of radical left writers as comprising an elitist "Byres Road Cappuccino commie set" that regards itself as intellectually and morally superior to the rest of the Yes movement, so for that reason I'm sure it can't possibly be correct.
4) ZX Spectrum users who prefer the middle of the keyboard. (Self-explanatory.)
Feel free to chip in with any other suggestions. We'll get to the bottom of this, no matter how long it takes.
Greens. Middle of the visible light spectrum.
ReplyDeleteClearly a scientist and a person after my own heart! I was already counting through ROYGBIV on my fingers when I saw your comment.
DeleteHe means his blog get more views than yours. (Am I missing something?)
ReplyDeleteProblem with that is I have a sneaking suspicion Wings is supposed to be "mid-spectrum" too.
Delete(Adopts east Enders accent:) "Leave it aht, James. He ain't worf it! "
ReplyDeleteA blogger with a rainbow tattoo above his belly button?
ReplyDeleteSuspect they may be referring to Gender identity
ReplyDeleteThanks for speaking up with your insightful analysis - I was wondering that myself and the plot thickens!
ReplyDeletesee my Facebook Page FreeScottish:Free the Scottish People to get things rolling again - let me know there what else is going on please!
ReplyDeleteI didn't realise that Bella was still running...
ReplyDeleteThat'll leave a mark!
DeleteThey must mean Ross Greer, then. That makes sense. It explains the mind-numbingly boring comment.
ReplyDeleteWe need to look at this logically, and make deductions based on the clues available, like a funky little Sherlock. Employing such a forensic methodology may enlighten us as to what the author is on about even though it is far from clear what the fuck the author is on about. So, then, to the question: What is a mid-spectrum blogger? Well, from the limited information provided we can confidently deduce the following:
ReplyDelete"Mind-numbingly bored of mid-spectrum bloggers spewing their p*** and bile into the public sphere."
"I for one am getting bored by mid-spectrum male monotone bloggers who can only speak in the language of anger."
1. "Mid-spectrum bloggers" are angry
2. They have an overactive digestive system
3. They urinate freely and without aim
4. They sick-up a lot which, when combined with the bile issue, suggests an affliction of "dodgy guts" leading me to believe that they frequently feel obliged to eat my nan's potted meats
5. They blog
6. They are male
7. They are not the silken orators they perceive themselves to be, and may in fact sound like an arse depending on what "mid-spectrum" actually means but I'm willing to take a leap
8. They flirt at the edges of potentially-non-attainable social circles, perhaps hindered from engaging in a fuller way because of the arse thing and the sicking-up thing and the wazzing all over the place thing
9. They are able to induce a kind of sleep-like state in others using hypnotic or other-wordly powers, although you can't rule out that people are just ignoring them because of the arse/boak/wazz issues which appear to have little in the way of conscious control, it's all over the place like that android scene in Alien. You know the bit - when it gets clobbered with the fire extinguisher and goes full-on 90's rave.
From the aforementioned observations, then, it is now clear that a "mid-spectrum blogger" is simply nah I've got nothing. I'd hoped to have come up with something before I got to the end, but nah. The folk at Bella (and CommonSpace, and Cat) are probably just frustrated because they've found themselves in the middle of a twisted shit-storm that they themselves created and now they're angry because folk aren't just rolling over and allowing them to mind-fuck their way out of it. I think most folk can see that they picked the wrong fight. It was personal and had been brewing for some time, and when an opportunity presented itself they just thought fuckit. As well as that we've got Cat trying to look clever by performing a level of mental gymnastics that's only served to bend her rationale so much out of shape that she's ended up back to front and with "the enemy" actually egging her on (if that didn't set alarm bells ringing then nothing will). If either party is now able to see that they've gone the wrong way down the yellow brick road then they show no signs of acknowledging it. They've only got themselves to blame. They shouldn't have doubled down. They worked their way through my sympathy early on and now they're just getting on my tits.
I agree Bunny, they got their arses handed to them and they're no at aw happy, so now they're just being nasty. Like petulant children.
DeleteIt all sounds like internet handbags and navel gazing. I've got to give you 10 points for option 4 though. Nice one.
ReplyDeleteIf they are bored with their own output then the solution is simple. Stop tweeting and blogging. Though I agree with Morag above, I thought they had stopped ages ago.
ReplyDeleteIt is an attack on viewpoints..as in only sees the "mid spectrum", cannot see the whole picture, and are filtering out fringe diversity and its importance.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't consider that LGBT rights, Far Left leanings, women's rights, racial origin etc are important parts of the movement you are part of the blinkered mid spectrum viewing blogsphere.
Problem is that all of the above are part of a movement, and no body is more or less important than any other individual in it.
Personally, I think it comes across as a load of self indulgent tosh since commonspace themselves are mid spectrum not recognising the demo graphs of those possessing red hair or gerbil owners or those suffering with BO or acne nor do they recognise people who have feet inflicted with High arches.
You know something internally is wrong when an organisation appear to have more hobbyhorses than people in it.
Is there any room for heterosexual couples with children in your imaginary world.
DeleteYou know the people who keep the human race turning over.
8^))
Deleteeh, Yes...that was the point.....Didnt quite catch the drift did you?
No I did not catch your draft.
DeleteWell, there's a surprise.
DeleteMaybe they're big Captain Scarlet fans.
ReplyDeleteJames I'm easy confused and so any time somebody says self-explanatory I'm stuck.Now I know there is no shame in being not so clever and its only those that are pseudo-intellectuals,that will abuse my kind.I rarely read Bella now I got bored with it and it easily bored me.
ReplyDeleteNat sis out here in Cardonald leafleting for the local bye election. Blaming the Blue Tories for austerity cuts...
ReplyDeleteInevitably. The magic money tree only functions for ultra-right-wing authoritarian Northern Irish parties...
DeleteThis shows the advantages of never reading the tweets of that particular account. And I'm much too polite a person to call them Champagne socialists. Or am I?
ReplyDeletePerhaps a mid-spectrum blogger is much like a Corranto-coiner.
ReplyDeletehttps://books.google.co.uk/books?id=qac_AAAAYAAJ&dq=&pg=PA20#v=onepage&q&f=false
Asperger's isn't a thing now.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.parents.com/health/autism/what-happened-to-aspergers/