Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Believe me when I say to you, I hope the Middlelanders love their children too

Well, it's now official from the BBC website - the unspoofable Tory MP Rory Stewart has abandoned his "Hands Across the Border" wheeze of 100,000 people forming a human chain in a location up to 68 miles south of the Scotland-England border.  He's taken this tragic decision for "logistical" reasons.  Hmmm.  I wonder if those "logistical" problems might conceivably include - a) not enough people, and b) the wrong border?

Rory's Plan C (it shouldn't be forgotten that "Hands Across the Border" was itself a replacement for an earlier plan to organise a mass walk) is the building of a border cairn to symbolise the love and respect that at least seven members of his local Conservative association have for Scotland - but only if it doesn't have the impudence to become an independent country, of course.  It remains to be seen whether the "border" where this cairn is to be located will be the actual border, or instead the border between the bit of England south of Hadrian's Wall and the bit of England north of Hadrian's Wall.  It would be rather amusing if Rory still hasn't worked out where Scotland starts.

The BBC article also contains the funniest caption on a photo I've seen for a long time.  It reads : "Rory Stewart said Scotland would be missed for personal reasons."  That's a bit like the brief, apologetic obituary that a family member might write for a mass murderer : "OK, we know, but we'll still miss him for personal reasons."

"Obituary" being the operative word.  If there is a Yes vote in September, it wouldn't surprise me if the London media don't report on Scotland becoming an independent country, but instead declare : "Scotland died today at the age of 307.  She wasn't much cop at anything, but she'll still be missed by one or two people as she was occasionally known to make a half-decent cup of tea."

6 comments:

  1. Beginning to count on you as a valuable resource and blogger.

    Sharing a lot of what you do now - keep it up even if you have had ebough sometimes. The 18the Sept is not forever away - it'll be here and gone in a heart beat and you will have contributed to history made.

    Good stuff James.

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  2. BTW - hysterically drole.

    "Obituary" being the operative word. If there is a Yes vote in September, it wouldn't surprise me if the London media don't report on Scotland becoming an independent country, but instead declare : "Scotland died today at the age of 307. She wasn't much cop at anything, but she'll still be missed by one or two people as she was occasionally known to make a half-decent cup of tea."

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  3. I was astounded that Tory Rory's hand-holding extravaganza failed to attract 100,000 participants. Who could have imagined it?

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  4. The headline to this post is inspired.

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  5. He should have thought about the logistics really, what with him being supa top soldier and political finker.

    Hadrians wall is for the most part miles from anywhere. There's eight bus services (the AD122) along the old military road that could take 25 people each, and the train line is about 5 miles south with stations interspersed at the same distance. It would probably have taken about 100 days worth of the area's public transport capacity to get 100,000 people along it.

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