Friday, May 30, 2014

How will "Vote No Borders" argue the case for a united Ireland?

As borders go, the one between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland is a particularly stupid one.  It has no historical basis whatever - the province of Ulster contains nine counties, not six, and two of the six counties that did 'make the cut' had Catholic/nationalist majorities even in 1921.  So presumably we can look forward to plucky "grassroots" organisation Vote No Borders transferring its operations to Belfast as soon as our own little referendum is over.  It'll make a nice change for them to actually rage against an existing international border, rather than trying to avert the creation of a new one.

I live in Newry and I need a passport to visit my gran 12 miles away in Dundalk.  It's crazy!!!!!

No, you don't.  I did that trip only yesterday and there was no passport control in sight.

Yeah, but there might be.

No, there isn't.

You don't KNOW that.  I'm just painting a picture of uncertainty.

What uncertainty?  There's been a border there for 92 years, and we've never had to show our passports at any point.

All the more reason to think it'll probably happen next week.  It's crazy!!!!!

But that would make us the ONLY COUNTRY IN WESTERN EUROPE to have passports controls on a land border, unless you count the border Norway and Finland have with Russia.

I know, it's crazy!!!!!!

No no no no no, that's not what I mean.  I'm saying it won't happen.

You cannot possibly be here.

I'm sorry?

Come now, we both know that in reality you're still stranded in Rio because this accursed border robbed you of access to Irish consular services when you lost your passport.  Begone from my sight, phantom!


  1. I'm looking forward to Nob Orders demanding that Britain get rid of its borders with the EU.

  2. Your fake conversation is very amusing, although it is almost too near the truth for comfort. I have conversations like that with no voters on twitter from time to time. A psychiatrist could spend a lifetime analysing the no camp denial on twitter.

  3. Nob orders. The entire world as one singular entity. All controlled from Westminster.